In the beginning, I was surprised that in a social gathering which celebrates life we would talk about death.
When I was there, though, the connection between life and death became much clearer.
Death is your kind pal, standing next to you all the time, asking you this question:
"Are you doing what you want to do in your life?"
or maybe even "Are you enjoying this?",
with the background thought that this is not going to last for ever.
So, he (why not she, actually?) is helping you to make the best of your life.
One of my favourite bands has summarised this in two lines:
"As soon as you're born you start dying
So you might as well have a good time. " (Cake, from "Sheep go to heaven, goats go to hell")
The other thought that helped me stare death in the face with less fear was the idea of rippling. Ru Callender, creator of Green Funerals in Devon and Cornwall, said that our legacy consists of our acts and our interaction with other people. Also, even after we die, our legacy will be rippling over the people we had interacted with. Meaning, it would still be affecting people and we would continue to exist as influence, just as a wave continues to exist for as far as it travels. If the sea is big, the wave continues rippling further and further and for a long time.
The thought of rippling helped me cope with the certainty of my parents death in the future, which is one of my greatest fears. I have seen my father change and become more like my grandpa (his father) after the latter one died. So, my grandpa is rippling over my father. He is also rippling over me, when I cite him "Άφρικα εγεννήκαμε" (meaning We have become Africa and referring to the south wind on Crete and to the moving of tectonic plates that bring Crete closer to Africa). In this sense, when my parents die, I will most probably keep their words, their actions, their influence and I will still be interacting with my memories of them. These memories will guide my actions and in this way my parents will be rippling over me. The more I miss them, the more I can make them ripple over me. Now, that's a reassuring thought. Really. I told Ru how thankful I was to him for planting this thought in my mind and he thanked me for sharing.
In my mind I also connected the idea of rippling with the "Yellow - Rippling Arm Exercise" in Margaret Morris Movement. Now the rippling of the hands and arms in this exercise have a new meaning for me; I am thinking of Barbara, of Wiltrud, of Margaret Morris herself, that are rippling on me, no matter alive or dead, shaping not only my dance movement but most importantly my psyche.
