Working working working.
Went fast to the WC, came fast out, went again to my desk and continued working furiously.
Wait, was it Lina* I saw in the room opposite the loos? Na. You are too focused on work and see familiar faces. (Indeed this happens to me when I am extremely tired, but that's the topic of another post.)
So, no, I decided it wasn't her.
A couple of weeks ago in my office in the psychiatry clinic.
Working working working.
Went fast to the WC, came fast out.
I see Lina, she wants to go to the loos, too. She says hi and asks what I am doing there. I say "I work here, my office is the first door after the glass door" (very precise because I was shocked and wanted to be very informational in order to suppress the emotional). And then I dared to ask "what are you doing here?"
She says it in the most natural way. "I had burnout. I am now doing ergotherapy, painting a bit in order to relax."
... Then I felt her story so mine. I took it personally, too personally. I admire this friend, her courage, her competence, her ambition and hard work. And actually felt I am similar to her. And now she's burnout. I could have been at her place. ...
... Then I felt her story so mine. I took it personally, too personally. I admire this friend, her courage, her competence, her ambition and hard work. And actually felt I am similar to her. And now she's burnout. I could have been at her place. ...
Back to reality. I managed to hug her once more and wish her all the best with the therapy. Tell her that I miss her and that we should meet sometime again. She said, "a bit later", when she's completely fine. Or at least "much better".
And then I went to my desk and couldn't calm down to get to my work. I couldn't breathe normally. I couldn't find any paper, except some pink post-it sheets. Here is what I wrote as if I was talking to my friend:
"Yes, you are smart.
Yes you contribute to knowledge.
Ambition is healthy but learn to remember you are just a human.
Sleep, eat, love and enjoy breathing.
I just don't accept you not being able to breath normally.
NOW OPEN YOUR WINDOW AND TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
Of course you then sit and continue writing/ thinking/ coding but you can breathe again normally.
What's with this pressuring society.
Just say no and breathe.
Because yes we are smart but we are even smarter when we manage not to collapse. To breathe."
For the strongest us. I believe in us.
*Lina: the name is of course changed. ;)
